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Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Mmm, candy jewelry and the dust, sweat and old skin that was collected. Then we ate it.
sporadic gesturer 8:03 PM [+] |
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
It's nice if you can make your own clothes as long as they don't look like you make them.
sporadic gesturer 11:37 PM [+] |
Monday, June 28, 2004
Wanted: One lion head knocker for my door. Brushed metal.
sporadic gesturer 11:41 PM [+] |
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Even now, there's still a slight phobia about liquid accidentally making its way to the bottom of the refrigerator, like it did that one time. Juice from a mandarin orange. A little smoke, popping noises, and a blown fuse resulted. A repair person followed. This time it was only water and the plan was foiled.
sporadic gesturer 6:31 PM [+] |
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Sometimes you just say the first thing that comes to mind. Meat bags.
sporadic gesturer 7:10 PM [+] |
Friday, June 25, 2004
Metallic green clogs + sequins + rhinestones = homemade shoes
sporadic gesturer 11:04 PM [+] |
Thursday, June 24, 2004
All of this for a food place. If you see him while you're there, just think Apocalypse.
sporadic gesturer 10:13 PM [+] |
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Mud pie eyes can't be good. That's a sign that no nutrients has ever frequented your system. I bet that girl didn't know how to spell vegetable or fruit, since she's probably never eaten one in her life, let alone, seen one. Then she fell off of her bike.
sporadic gesturer 7:18 PM [+] |
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
It never fails, in a movie when someone is hurt above the waist, they automatically develop a limp.
sporadic gesturer 11:53 PM [+] |
Monday, June 21, 2004
Bad things to be involved in fondue:
Hard boiled eggs
Oatmeal
Mouthwash
Corn starch
Apple sauce
Lint
sporadic gesturer 11:44 PM [+] |
Sunday, June 20, 2004
There's a sick correlation between adult underwear that look like children's underwear and the people who create such a thing.
sporadic gesturer 10:40 PM [+] |
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Minds are weird. Especially when they make you think of something from grade school. Mainly the rumor about the girl and pencils. Then you wonder if she's still alive.
sporadic gesturer 5:17 PM [+] |
Friday, June 18, 2004
The trick to cooking anything that involves water is to replace it with milk.
sporadic gesturer 11:17 PM [+] |
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Some sayings are just worth mentioning. Like, blow it out of your ass.
I imagine that would be an interesting visual.
sporadic gesturer 11:09 PM [+] |
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Many people have no idea that their welcome was worn out the minute they were born.
sporadic gesturer 9:06 PM [+] |
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Announced over the PA system in a store that shall remain nameless:
Maintenance to the women's restroom at the front of the store. Maintenance to the women's restroom at the front of the store.
One word. Assplosion.
sporadic gesturer 10:51 PM [+] |
Monday, June 14, 2004
I'd rather not see/know who or what was behind the wheel. They tore down the road like a bat out of hell.
sporadic gesturer 10:59 PM [+] |
Sunday, June 13, 2004
I prefer to be referred to as a Muggle than a human.
sporadic gesturer 9:05 PM [+] |
Saturday, June 12, 2004
It's never a good sign when you walk into a supermarket and the first things you smell are urine and cigarette smoke.
sporadic gesturer 10:33 PM [+] |
Friday, June 11, 2004
This is what happens when you muster up enough nerve to take pictures of bad items in a store that you won't bother buying.
sporadic gesturer 11:19 PM [+] |
Thursday, June 10, 2004
There's a small problem when magazine subscription cards outweigh the actual pages.
sporadic gesturer 11:48 PM [+] |
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Going with the theme of yesterday's post, a certain nose picking observation was recollected from months ago. The guy almost swung his wrist out of line, trying to release his finger from such a heavy load. The whole time I tried to keep my distance and hoped it didn't fly in my direction. *dry heave ensues*
sporadic gesturer 11:59 PM [+] |
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
One of the worst scenarios ever:
If someone had to pick someone else's nose with their bare hand.
sporadic gesturer 11:30 PM [+] |
Monday, June 07, 2004
Blue or pink cotton candy wasn't good enough. I had to go for the purple one. Fluffed bile.
sporadic gesturer 10:36 PM [+] |
Sunday, June 06, 2004
I knew someone that once sharpened their pencil with a potato peeler. Laughter either comes from how pitiful that is or how ridiculous the whole thing was. It might be a little of both. I'm sure it's the latter.
sporadic gesturer 8:08 PM [+] |
Saturday, June 05, 2004
People with breath that smells like a hot, damp basement are always the most talkative. It's never the ones that chew minty gum who have a lot to talk about. Then it migrates, towards me.
sporadic gesturer 7:12 PM [+] |
Friday, June 04, 2004
You'd think there were some sort of safety hazard against wearing headphones that are missing the little foam covers. It's just something about your ears being that much closer to those inner wires. I'll just observe what happens to those that test the waters.
sporadic gesturer 9:25 PM [+] |
Thursday, June 03, 2004
There's only one way to find out if a match can be lit, by striking it on someone's head, like in the cartoons. I'm not implying anything.
sporadic gesturer 10:15 AM [+] |
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Contrary to popular belief, ketchup can't be put on everything. Let me rephrase that. Ketchup shouldn't be put on everything. I refuse to hear the one about it being put on eggs. C-O-U-N-T-R-Y.
sporadic gesturer 10:17 PM [+] |
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
After seeing Troy, I have a new appreciation for men in sarongs.
sporadic gesturer 11:22 PM [+] |
