Sunday, June 30, 2002

I am one of those people guilty of being an Ozzy Osbourne fan and I thoroughly enjoy watching The Osbournes.

They're funny. What can I say? There happens to be something about Ozzy too. . .

Yeah. I know. I know.

sporadic gesturer 10:17 PM [+] |

Saturday, June 29, 2002

When I went to the picnic today for the 2nd and last day of the "family reunion" all I could think about when I walked through the grass was: "Did some dogs sh*t out here?" and "If so, I hope I don't find it."

Luckily the grass was fine. Minus the "small" trenches and hills.

But the people who sell balloons, cotton candy, and other things managed to find us and other people in the forest preserve. Not to mention the ice cream truck that rode across the grass. I have to admit, I did buy some cotton candy.

There is nothing like the sound of warped ice cream truck music. . .

sporadic gesturer 10:56 PM [+] |

Friday, June 28, 2002

Tonight I went to a banquet for "my family reunion" which lasts 2 days, Friday and Saturday. I always find it interesting to go to a family reunion and you know less than 10 people there.

Then each time you go to a reunion, you know even less because the people you were actually used to seeing before don't show up the next time.

How many generations of "cousins" can one person have before you're not related anymore? Because I feel waaaaaay down the line at this reunion.

sporadic gesturer 11:47 PM [+] |

Thursday, June 27, 2002

Blah.

sporadic gesturer 10:46 PM [+] |

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

I am always wary of "samples" that a grocery store leaves out for customers to help themselves to taste.

Here's why:

1. There are always people who taste the "sample" and are not so sanitary:
     -double dippers (self explanatory)
     -the handler (they touch more than one)
     -pickers (they pick any and everything on their body and never wash their hands)

(I am sure there are more, but these are the main ones that come to mind.)


2. Some people don't know what sampling means:
     -cheap skate (they have no plans to buy anything, but they "sample" the item anyway)
     -taste tester (they "sample" everything that has a sample)
     -caravan (this is one family, but there are so many people, they clear out the first batch of a particular "sample" that was prepared)

(Like I said before, I am sure there are more, but these are the main ones that come to mind.)


3. The stampede:
     -you can get hurt by those who rush towards the table in a race to get the first taste

It's not worth it if you consider the reasons listed under 1 and 2.

sporadic gesturer 10:15 PM [+] |

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Now this is a bizarre story.

I wonder if the parents stopped to think that their plan might have actually given their daughter an idea of what to do with the married guy. . .

How dumb.

sporadic gesturer 3:56 PM [+] |

Monday, June 24, 2002

I caught myself watching Road Trip tonight. Some movies are just SO absurdly addictive. And this is probably one I shouldn't have admitted to. . .

You never heard anything.

sporadic gesturer 11:30 PM [+] |

Sunday, June 23, 2002

The place where the party was located was HOT and HUMID! You could just feel the dampness in the air. There were 2 guys who kept closing the windows. Crazy.

I didn't dance and my forehead still managed to become damp. People were crowding around the one fan that was there and ran outside to cool off too. Yesterday was warm anyway, so I doubt if that helped much.

Even with the humidity and lack of dancing for me, it was fun. Along with some of the people that danced like they had to pee, that was enjoyable to watch also.

sporadic gesturer 10:38 PM [+] |

Saturday, June 22, 2002

Party tonight!

sporadic gesturer 10:48 AM [+] |

Friday, June 21, 2002

You know things are getting really bad when tag is being banned at a school.

What's next?

Duck, duck, goose?

What's wrong with being "it" every now and then?

It's just a game people! Deal with it! Or childhood will be no more.

There are more serious things in the world to concentrate on and THIS isn't it.

sporadic gesturer 3:55 PM [+] |

Thursday, June 20, 2002

Today's experience when I called my sister at work and a new receptionist appeared to be working at the front desk:

*dials number*

Receptionist: (company name)

Me: (my sister's name) please.

*dead silence*

*click*

*hears dial tone*

This is the funniest thing that has happened all week.

sporadic gesturer 9:30 AM [+] |

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

I have some grapes left in my refrigerator that smell a little like wine.

I don't think that's a good thing.

And some of them appear to be wearing wigs. Even worse.

sporadic gesturer 11:09 PM [+] |

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

This is an actual phone call I received today:


*phone rings twice*

Me: Hello?

*5 seconds of dead silence on the phone*

Me: *bangs receiver on computer desk*

Me: Hello?

Salesperson: Hello. May I speak to Mr. or Mrs. (last name)?

Me: They're not here right now.

Salesperson: Do you know when they'll be in?

Me: Who's calling?

Salesperson: AT&T.

Me: What is this about?

Salesperson: We are in the area and have a special. . .

Me: Well, they're not here right now.

Salesperson: We'll call back another time.

Me: *hangs up the phone*

I go upstairs and look at the caller ID and to my surprise these people are NOWHERE in "my area". The call is from a completely different state!

There is something fishy about this. . .

sporadic gesturer 11:13 PM [+] |

Monday, June 17, 2002

As if the show isn't bad enough. I just saw a commercial and The Crocodile Hunter will be hitting a theater near you.

By Crikey! Who's first in line for it?

This is WRONG in so many ways.

sporadic gesturer 9:49 PM [+] |

I just LOVE when telemarketers call and say the following:

"This is just a courtesy call."

When it's REALLY an inconvenience.

sporadic gesturer 1:58 PM [+] |

Sunday, June 16, 2002

I have something to say, but I can't quite think of what it is right now. Does that make sense or is that the talk of a mad person?

I'm sure this post will be different a little later. You'll see.

Update: I still couldn't think of anything, but at least this post is a little different from before.

sporadic gesturer 7:36 PM [+] |

Saturday, June 15, 2002

Here's a word that I have become fond of lately:

Leech n. a hanger-on who seeks advantage or gain

It's fun to use when describing others. *maniacal laughter ensues*

Especially when it's well deserved.

sporadic gesturer 4:17 PM [+] |

Friday, June 14, 2002

Here's something a little different for today's post. To make up for yesterday's rant.

It's called the Friday Five.

1. How often do you do laundry? Once a week.

2. What's in a typical wash load? Everything. Tops. Bottoms. Underneaths. LOL

3. Front or top loader? Powder or liquid detergent? Top loader. Mostly liquid. A little powder here and there.

4. Do you use fabric softener in the rinse cycle? Yes. April Fresh Downy.

5. Dryer or clothesline? Dryer. Every once in a while we use the clothesline, but it's been raining, so that would defeat the purpose.

Like I should be sharing this kind of information. . .

That is all.

sporadic gesturer 2:06 PM [+] |

Thursday, June 13, 2002

I'm pissed

I live in a residential area. Of course. But SOMEBODY has plans to put a fucking children's museum on the alley/lot behind the houses on this block. What kind of shit is this? A museum right where people live?

They CAN'T use the vacant lot where the old motel use to be. NOOOO! That would make TOO much sense.

Today people on the block got a notice in the mail about what's going to happen to the lot. It says June 7th. A little late don't you think? LIKE A WEEK LATE! You sorry sons of bitches!

Ah. That helped a little. Just a little.

sporadic gesturer 6:00 PM [+] |

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

The Corporate Porn Viewer

There's a guy who comes to the main library of my college on a regular basis and gets on the computer. But he looks at porn. I saw it one day when he was sitting about 2 seats away from me. In fact, I saw him today. It's just really weird. He's weird. Period.

I bet his coworkers have no idea what he does on his lunch hour. He's having lunch alright. He wears nice dress shirts, pants, a tie, and sometimes his suit jacket. I guess that's part of his plan. Look like a businessman and nobody will suspect anything. WRONG!

I am sure that other people can clearly see his screen. It's NOT like casual web surfing by any means. What's even more disturbing is that he looks at it freely like a regular web page. Have you no shame? At least have the decency to look at it in the privacy of your home.

You sick bastard.

sporadic gesturer 7:49 PM [+] |

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

There's nothing worse than a bad toupee. Especially if it's too small.

That is all.

sporadic gesturer 11:36 PM [+] |

Monday, June 10, 2002

On a slightly lighter note. . .

Think twice before you reach over someone for that new bottle of lotion.
You just might be attacked.

This is nuts: Shopping Rage

sporadic gesturer 11:50 PM [+] |

It sure has been raining a lot where I live.
I think they need it more.

Horrible.

sporadic gesturer 11:48 PM [+] |

Sunday, June 09, 2002

It's pretty bad when people don't know the difference between itch and scratch.
Believe it or not, some people have no idea that they have it all wrong.

Here's a fine example:
"I have to itch my arm."

WRONG!

Itching is what is happening to your arm.
Scratching is what you have to do to stop the itching.

Is that so hard?

You scratch.
Arms itch. *repeat*

sporadic gesturer 8:02 PM [+] |

I went to a certain fast food restaurant yesterday that should remain nameless (the golden arches) and they screwed up my order. I even went inside and they still gave me the wrong thing. I could have sworn this only happened when you ordered through the drive-thru.

Anyway.

What do I have to do around here to get a flatbread sandwich? Open up ALL of my food before I leave? NO!

Flatbread doesn't NORMALLY have sesame seeds and have the shape of a hamburger bun. Not the flatbread I eat anyway. So get it right next time. Is that so hard? I mean, with 10 people or so taking orders, things should be a little easier to handle. Right?

sporadic gesturer 12:44 PM [+] |

Saturday, June 08, 2002

. . .

sporadic gesturer 9:18 AM [+] |

Friday, June 07, 2002

Is yogurt supposed to hiss like a pop/soda? No. That's what I thought.

PB & J saves the day.

sporadic gesturer 11:18 PM [+] |

Thursday, June 06, 2002

I know what I'll be watching tonight.

The 2002 MTV Movie Awards. What other awards show has such insane categories?

sporadic gesturer 6:10 PM [+] |

McDonald's is selling meat loaf? Huh?

Read here.

Interesting. . .

sporadic gesturer 11:55 AM [+] |

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Thinking. . .

sporadic gesturer 11:54 PM [+] |

Tuesday, June 04, 2002

I was sort of watching this show about spontaneous combustion on TLC.

Creepy.

That's all I have to say.

sporadic gesturer 11:50 PM [+] |

Monday, June 03, 2002

Tonight I topped my dinner off with a tasty scoop of Spumoni ice cream on an ice cream cone. It's so good.

Now I am going back to watch Jay Leno and after that, Conan O'Brien.

Why was Bill Maher canceled? I love his show.

sporadic gesturer 11:39 PM [+] |

Sunday, June 02, 2002

I hate when my mind goes blank.

sporadic gesturer 11:45 PM [+] |

Saturday, June 01, 2002

Why is the world SO fucked up (especially the United States)?

Anyone care to share?

sporadic gesturer 4:14 PM [+] |